I think I'm abusing my first day blogging; I won't normally be so prolific.
Part of the "inspiration" if you like for writing this blog was a number of discussions I had with Andy; the top bloke who runs Stretford-End.com and allows me a platform to wax lyrical about all things United and, generally, wind up Arsenal fans.
Talking about ideas for other general blogs and websites that we could run together, we came up with the idea of a "What would Larry Do" website, based on Larry David's characterisation of himself in the sitcom Curb Your Enthusiasm. We both love the show and thought it would be good to perhaps set it up as a cross between general moaning column and an agony uncle kind of thing. I went to the trouble of setting it up and floating a few ideas before coming to the conclusion that it wouldn't really have the legs, the longevity without a great deal of time and effort.
Besides, the very basis of the idea was set up on an idea that was bordering on differing level of frequencies. How often could we find something to get annoyed or anal about? What if lots of things happened at once? Fortunately for me, life's little quirks can annoy me. I hate queues. I hate queues with a passion but unless I have a confrontation in a queue, I don't think I'd be able to blog about it with any great conviction and come out of it sounding sane.
But, I did recently have a "Curb"-esque moment I'd like to share with you all.
I don't know how many of you have seen the show, and then how many people would have seen the episode I'm on about. In Season 6 there's an episode where Larry has to apologise to someone so, in a rush, he actually steals flowers from the memorial of the dead mother of a friend. It's all quite contrived and very funny. I never thought I'd even have an experience that I could loosely compare, but I do.
My grandmother recently got admitted to hospital. She's fine, at nearly 91, with 7 kids, around 20 grandkids, countless great grandchildren and even more great great grandchildren, we often joke she'll outlive us all. Anyway, I went to see her with my mum, and decided to take her some flowers. Some nice roses, the same as she had for her wedding way back before the second world war. How nice of us. Only now, it seems, there is a new policy where some wards don't permit flowers for their patients on account of the water they may have previously been in.
We were told to leave them by the door to the ward on the way in and pick them up on the way out. Fair enough. But you can see where I'm going with this. That's right, after a while I said I'd just go and get them anyway, and bring them to show my grandma just to show (she was joking saying she thought we were lying about having brought some). They were gone. I approached the nurse who was in fairness apologetic, but after that initial apology, was blank when I looked at her expecting further help.
You know the kind of exchange.
"Excuse me, we put some flowers down, they've gone"
"Oh.. really? I remember you bringing them.. oh yeah.. they have."
"Do you have them?"
"No.. Sorry"
Sorry?? Is that the full extent of your help? That's where it ends? When you opened your mouth to say the word, did you really expect me to be content with it knowing that was the end result?
Even if it was the best apology you'd ever given, if it was the best apology anybody had ever given, if it was the most sincere thing I'd ever heard, how on Earth do you expect that to resolve the issue? She was not forthcoming with any help; no offer of a search, she clearly felt the apology was sufficient.
Fortunately I'm quite level headed; on the greater balance of it all, some flowers being stolen barely matters. But it would have if, for example, my grandmother was seriously ill or worse. And it is here where the anger is probably misdirected. It's funny in almost a Carry On sense that a nurse (if that's what she is) can be sat down at a desk and miss someone stealing something 5 yards in front of her face, but it's baffling to think what kind of lowlife thinks it's acceptable to steal flowers in a hospital - in a wing for ill elderly people, without them knowing about the health of the intended recipient? You can't be angry at the thief, they're long gone - the emotionless, helpless response of someone paid purely to be caring and helpful does not really help them when it comes to getting a non-exasperated response.
This has no resolution other than tough luck, and we were able to make a joke out of it. It just goes to show that something can be funny or made into a joke but the circumstances that make it so are so narrow.. well, really, the circumstances in which you find out about such a thing have to be carefully contrived so you can see the funny side. If I'd had caught the scumbag who took the flowers? I don't know if either of us would be seeing the funny side.
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